To get what you want, you must never need

In my previous life… ok well more like last year, which feels like a lifetime away now… I used to be very needy. In order to get what I wanted, I often felt that everything had to workout as I planned. I NEEDED it to work this way in order for me to achieve the final result. No second chances, no other options, it was this way or no way (Once again you see the connection with this whole Right/Wrong nonsense I was a part of). 

Here’s the thing I’ve learned over this year: You don’t need anything, you have to want them. If you want them for selfish reasons, you will become needy, and rarely will others help you. 

So for all of you students and young professionals who are up for taking on the mission of finding your passion here are a few key things to remember when it comes to going after what you want:

1) Think of all the options
If life were to just workout the way you wanted it to every time, it’d be pretty boring. Always look for all the options. No person or piece of technology is the be all and end all in reaching your goals. If someone doesn’t genuinely want to help you, they’re probably not going to put in the work to do it anyways. Thank them for their time and move on.

2) This applies to relationship too
Often people feel they need someone in their lives. Without that person they’ll never go on. Now I’m not trying to disregard love here. For sure I too love others to a point where I can’t imagine them not in my life; however, one thing I’ve learned not to do is to feel like I need anybody. Everybody in my life currently are people I want, and if you’re reading this that includes you. I want you in my life because you teach me things I don’t know, you all have a unique story, and your perspective on the world is better than any book I can think of. Therefore, I want you.

3) Stay focused on your objective
The best sales people are the ones who respect every person they meet, while still staying focused on their objective. I actually cringe to call them sales people because I feel they don’t sell, they compel. They passionately talk about a service or product, and try to cater it to what the person needs (as long as it can live up to its promise). If the person on the other end doesn’t WANT it, they’re probably not going to buy it. Leave them with something that they can remember you and your service/product by in case they ever want it in the future. Sometimes a smile is enough.

4) Focusing on wants will make you grateful
Often times when you think you need something, you take it for granted… even if that need is a want. You feel this special entitlement in life. Trust me, 2010 was that year for me. When nothing seemed to work, I blamed the world and those close to me at that time and had the audacity to say I ‘deserved’ more. I deserved nothing. I was needy. Needy is greedy. When you treat everything as a want, you are thankful for everything you get.