Softy?

I still remember when people used to say “You’re great!” or “You are everything you need.” All that used to go through my head was “What a loser! That’s so soft and push-overish.” At the time I was referring to the person who said it, little did I realize it was actually how I felt about myself.  When I looked back to those times, I really felt like a loser. I wasn’t happy with my performance or jobs, or was unhappy with my social life, and often times was a ‘Yes Man’ just doing whatever anyone said.

Remember perception is reality. How we perceive things is in line with how we view the world. In case you’re lost with what I just wrote, here’s an example:

Say you’re not confident in yourself and you buy a new sweater that you like but you’re not sure others will. You wear it to a party and someone says, “Hey great sweater!” If you’re not confident in yourself or you wearing it, there’s a good chance you’ll perceive what they say as “This person is mocking my sweater… I knew I shouldn’t have bought it. Everybody is probably looking at it and making fun of it.” Notice how you perceived is inline with what you think about yourself. This thinking shows up from how you feel about yourself, and then actions inline with this thinking show up to others. You’ll put on a fake smile, feel like everyone is mocking you, and maybe leave the party or become very secluded.

Now imagine you’re confident in yourself and the sweater you’re wearing. Someone says the same thing, “Hey great sweater!” This time around there’s a good chance you’ll perceive it as “THANKS!! I knew it was a great buy… people love it. I should tell them where I got it in case they want to get one too.” Notice the perception this time is in line about how you’re thinking and how you perceive you and the sweater. You’re feeling good and your thoughts are reinforcing that. You have a beaming smile and start to engage with others because you feel confident in yourself!

Remember life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it. If you react negatively to something it’s probably because you’re battling something… perhaps a family issue, job you’re not happy with, lost in life, etc. Similarily, if someone reacts negatively to you, they’re probably dealing with something of their own.

Moral of the story: How you react is a reflection of what you’re thinking and feeling. How someone else reacts is a reflection of how they are thinking orfeeling. If you’re YOU, you’ll be confident in the good the bad and ugly, and if someone negatively acts against you, don’t take it personally!