The ‘Looking Good’ Paralysis

If you read my ‘About Me’ section you’ll learn that in my youth I was bullied for 6 years. Throughout it all I began creating this belief that I didn’t fit in. That I didn’t belong. That something was wrong with me. To cope, I decided that to show others that I did ‘fit in’ I would always make sure I’m right… I wanted to fit in. I wanted to be normal. I wanted to ‘look good’ so people would accept me.

The biggest problem with striving to ‘look good’ is that you prevent yourself from valuable learning that usually actually make you look good. If instead of being right, you strive to learn what works and what doesn’t, that’s when the game starts. The game of life is not trying to ‘look good’ but saying and doing things at the risk of not looking good.

Although it took me 26 years to truly understand it, I am happy I now see this so I am able to fix it in areas that’s affecting my life.

The best way I found to stop trying to look good is to stop trying to always be right. Admit your mistakes, embrace your faults, and celebrate your failures. Each and every one gives you the opportunity to learn. Shift your focus from ‘looking good’ to ‘doing good’. Treat everyone else like they matter. When conversing with others listen to THEM instead of that little voice in your ahead filled with judgements and opinions. If those judgements and opinions won’t go away share them with the person and apologize for having them but let them know you want to just get them out so you can listen to them properly. Say things that may not always be easy to say. Don’t just agree with everyone you meet, empower them to see your perspective even if they may not agree with it. At the same time don’t argue. Your goal once again is not to be right. It’s to find out what works. Help people see that innately we are all awesome people. If you decide to take on this challenge, welcome to the world of leadership… it’s been waiting for you.