Ghana Friend-Ships

During my first months in Ghana, one of the toughest challenges for me was making friends. Now for  those of you who know me well, this might seem hard to believe; however, the truth is that here I find there are two types of Friend-Ships (“Hey look over there, it’s the Friend Ship!” – A corny line usually used in improv games when you’re stuck and have no idea what to say!).

The first ship is one where the people just love meeting and conversing with other people. Socializing is just so part of their character, that losing your friendship would worst than any gain in material goods they could get from you. With high energy exchanges and smiles usually lasting throughout… I’m ALL ABOARD for this ship!

Then there’s the other ship, the ship that I usually like to walk the plank on. It’s the ship where the people seem to befriend you, but there are usually some hidden intentions. There smiles and attitude are far from genuine, and well as they say, they seem to just ‘rub you the wrong way.’ Most of the time these so-called friends are just  waiting to pirate your ‘rich white man’ status.

I have a couple of friends, like Daniel, who I’m very thankful to have joined on the first ship. However, this story is about a young man who I met on the other ship and have recently tried to invite him over to ship numero 1!

I first met Clinton on the streets of Bongo, while I was a young, new African, fighting to fit in. Letting down my guard a bit to ensure I wouldn’t be a total loner for 12 months, I accepted an invite for some wine (Yea… I know definitely didn’t expect that one either). As we sat in his compound he poured two glasses of wine (in wine glasses!) and started to look through some pictures of him and his friends from school. I thought to myself “Alright, the fact that he has wine, pictures, and is attending school, what could he possibly want from me? Hmm maybe I’ve found my first friend (Ship 1)!!”

As the days went on, something didn’t seem right; until a couple of weeks later I was hit with the anchor, “Hey Ryan, my father is not doing well and I was wondering if you could help me small with my school fees.” With the guard quickly going back up, I politely told him that I don’t give out money but would help him with things like his resume or soft skills. Obviously that’s not the answer he was looking for, and in the weeks to come I would learn it was not the answer he was willing to settle with.

After getting continuous calls from him, I began to ignore most. I remember picking up one day and after the usual greetings, hear him tell me that he has trouble fundraising for school and asking me what he should do. This could have been a genuine call for ideas, but my hunch told me this was just another game to pull me in. Days later I remember being harassed by his drunk father at the tea spot, being quite abrasive and well not making much sense either. I had become very turned off by this guy and well ignored the many of phone calls that kept filtering in.

The calls stopped for a few months before he managed to find a fellow EWB volunteer when he arrived back in Bolga, who accidentally confirmed I was still in town. Even after returning from my health trip home, the calls kept coming in, until my escape plan ended when we ran into each other in Bongo. This time I was asked for a job, something that I’m not much of help with, especially since our organization isn’t at the level to start hiring locals. The second time I ran into him, he asked if we could meet to discuss a few things.

Dreading the thought of having to be put in the uncomfortable situation of declining a charity case, I kept postponing the meeting until finally one day he just showed up at my door.

As we sat at the bar he began to discuss how he and his friends are finding it difficult to find jobs. Although listening with an empathetic ear, I also remembered how Daniel is now working two jobs, fending for his family, and doesn’t have any extra advantages, that I could see, besides his outstanding character.

Clinton then began explaining how he wanted to start a business with his friends. I was definitely shocked to hear that, but all the more eager to listen on. They want to create a small net cafe for people to photocopy things and possibly use the internet. I though it was a great idea seeing as Bongo has no internet access, and the service could have some high demand. His request was simple, he wanted to know if I would invest some type of resources into it; my reply was simple, yet a lot tougher… I told him to prove to me he is committed and ready to make this happen. This means creating some sort of plan; surveying the people of Bongo to see if it would be used; talking to already existing resources (i.e. World Vision who currently has internet access as well as computers available at the resource centre); basically showing me that I can trust him and be confident in my investment.

A short while into our discussion, Daniel happened to come by and we had a long discussion about all sorts of things (Will talk about in future posts!). I must say it was great to have a local who is on ship 1 talking to a local on ship 2! Together we brainstormed ideas, discussed challenges (with the business and in Ghana in general), and came to one conclusion… “When opportunity knocks, remember to open the door.”

Bon Voyage!